How to Tell if a Guy Is CheatingHere are the surprising signs a dude is being unfaithful
By Holly Shitt
1. He’s superprotective of his gadgets. “The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, IM chats, cell phone texts, or bills,” says Belisa Vranich, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in New York City. So if every time you are about to touch his Blackberry or IPhone, he punches you hard in the face or gut, that might be a sign cheating.
2. He steps up the grooming.“This is so obvious, but it’s a sign many women miss: If your man starts grooming down there without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he’s spending more time naked,” says Vranich. You can actually thank porn for this tip-off. Guys today are used to viewing manscaped dudes onscreen, so if he has another chick to impress with his sexual prowess, he may emulate those ultra-trimmed guys. Another clue: he shaves a letter into his pubs and it’s not the first letter of your name, he begins showering regularly, and/or he starts buying GQ.
3. He is secretive and spends more time out of the house. Even if he has legitimate excuses, like he claims one of your friends is throwing you a surprise party and he was helping, that’s why he has been whispering on the phone, really secretive, and staying out really late. Then he swears you to secrecy because, if she knew you knew, she’d be so upset that all the planning was for naught, but then the party never happens. So you ask him ‘where’s the party?’ and he says that the friend is hurting financially so she couldn’t afford it anymore and she figured since you didn’t know about it anyway, it wasn’t a big deal, but makes you promise you won’t tell her you know because she’d be mortified. "Don't believe his skanky lying mouth, he's a goddamn cheater," Vranich insists.
4. He smells different. “When he comes home, if he doesn’t smell the same as he did in the morning, he has a fishy pussy smell or he stinks like ass, but not in his ass, more like on his penis, fingers, or mouth,” warns Vranich. Also if you find different textured or colored pubic hair and/or scratch marks on his back that are not yours, as strange as it might sound these too can be signs he is cheating.
5. He doesn't seem jealous anymore. “He was jealous before, but now he suggests you wear a lower cut top when you go out drinking with your friends. Or when he walks into the bedroom and you are fucking the plumber, he simply backs up and shuts the door, but not before giving you a wink and a thumbs up sign. Oddly these are clues that he is cheating on you.”
Vranich adds that if he starts bring home single men your age from work and talking them up after they leave, he might want a divorce.
6. You find him in a compromising position. “If you see him having sex with a person other than yourself,” says Vranich. “You can bet your bottom dollar that he is cheating. No matter what excuse he might give, take it from me, he is a cheating sack of shit, shoot him! I know a great attorney.”
2 comments:
I disagree with Point 6. I saw my wife making out with the pool boy. Naturally, I would wait until Consuela prepared dinner for us and discuss it then. It turns out the pool boy had something caught in his throat, and she was just being helpful.
It is called how to tell if MEN are cheating! How to tell if women are cheating, not that is a different ball game.
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