Pagan's Sukkot

Tonight we are having a bastardized Sukkot celebration. Merryl is a Jew that never went to Hebrew school and I am a Hebrew school drop out, so when she came to me with the idea of having a Sukkot party, I thought I might as well put all those wasted years to good use. Besides Sukkot is really a celebration of the harvest, autumn solstice. Most of our friends are Goys (non Jews), so we thought we could do whatever we wanted they won't know the difference anyway. Goys think Jews are cool and exotic, mystical even. This is our chance to shine! We can make them do whatever we want!!! I can't wait.

FYI: A bit about Sukkot- The holiday commemorates the forty-year period during which the children of Israel were wandering in the desert. Sukkot is also a harvest festival.

In honor of the children of Israel in the wilderness, people dwell or at least eat their meals in temporary shelters. This shelter is called a sukkah. The sukkah has at least three sides and a partially open roof covered with greenery. Part of the fun of sukkot is decorating the sukkah with fruits and, in the United States, autumn vegetables like corn and squash.

Another observance during Sukkot involves what are known as The Four Species or the lulav and etrog. The lulav consists of a palm branch, a myrtle branch, and a willow branch bound together. The etrog is a citrus fruit native to Israel and is held separately. With these four species in hand, one recites a blessing and waives the species in all six directions (east, south, west, north, up and down). We substituted the lulav with a celery stalk and the etrog with a lemon.